What is going on today

The Wanderer is so sweet. He is a giggler like I am...he's almost always on the edge of laughing.  Its amazing after all the things he's been through.  That is exactly what happens to people that get everything heaped on them...either they realize that life is one big humongous joke that they realize they are the constant butt of, and willing to laugh along with or at it. Or you become bitter and want to hate life, and suck all of the fun out of it.  So when ever you hear me talk about something awful that happened to me and then I make a smart ass comment and start laughing...that is why.  Its like me saying...see I was the butt of another great big joke.  Isn't it funny.

The most amazing thing just happened today.  I ran into a very old boyfriend on facebook today.  A guy I have known longer than any person I have had recent contact with.  The last guy I dated before I left WI for college.  We'll call him the Wanderer.  He is a truck driver and he makes regular runs from Fon du Lac, WI to Fargo.  I may actually be able to see him in less than a week.  I really don't know what to think.  The last time I saw him was my second year of college when I traveled down for his mother's funeral.  I have to settle down and stop getting so excited because I am setting myself up for someone getting hurt.  Well all I can say now is I will take it slow and Que Sara Sara

I had a very relaxing day today.  I had a little trouble after I dropped off Alexis.  I miss tucking my girls in every night.  Its no fair.  They are MY girls.  That was MY home that I built.  That was MY family, yet she can rattle on about the Hamner household.  I was the rightful lady of the Hamner household.  I still carry the name.  She is using him.  She wants a family so she stole mine.  I got rid of these feelings long ago, yet here they come sneaking up again.  Hell I have been out of there for 6 months now...why am I still feeling this way?  Why am I relapsing?  I feel like the third wheel...even with my girls.  They are MY girls they are MY heart.  Why can't I be with them 24 hours a day.  Why do I have to be on the outside looking in?

Its hard to believe my vacation is almost over.  I have definately made the most of it.  In fact yesterday evening I was so exhausted it was hard for me to stay awake.  Alexis and I spent almost 3 hours on the river and had a blast.  It was so relaxing just to float down the river in an inner tube.  I took 4 trips this week totalling in 537 miles.  OMG I think I need a vacation from my vacation.  I will have to admit I did have a lot of fun this last week.