What is going on today

I am just a sucker for punishment.  I thought I would be fine being just friends with Shawn, but it came sneaking up on me and I found myself mooning over him.  I told him about it and he again reaffirmed that he does not reciprocate.  He was understanding and compassionate about it which just made things worse.  He feels that we can work through it as friends.  I am surprised that he hasn't just thrown up his hands and said I wasn't worth the trouble.  Craziness.

Wow its at the end of day 5 of my 10 day weekend.  Where has all the time gone?  My lil Kat and I went to see How to Train Your Dragon 2 today.  Awesome movie.  Katelin and i talked about it all afternoon.  Tomorrow is Kat's birthday.  My baby is turning 7 *sniff*  The girls used to make me feel young but no longer.  I am looking forward to spending time with Lexy on Thursday and Friday.  I have only seen her for a quick hug since last Saturday.  Man, it gets to me sometimes, I really wish that I could be with them 24/7.  I remember last year I was in tears when I brought my girls back at the end of the week.  My heart really goes out to the parents that don't get as much time with their children as I do.  If I find it difficult to deal with, it is hard to imagine what they go through.  I have been told before that they get used to it. 

I drove back with Shawn, our conversation wound up covering a whole range of topics and wound up going deep.  We connect on so many levels it is just crazy.  I haven't connected mentally with a guy like that in a very long time.  It was nice having an intelligent discussion with someone and not have him ask me what every other word means.  We debated intelligently on a number of subjects.  He also helped me put a couple of other things in perspective.  Hopefully I can put in to play his suggestions.

I am currently trying to post while in Rice visiting Vas.  I am forced to post from my phone, so I will be lucky if it saves.    I spent all of yesterday and last night with Shawn and have yet to drive back to Fargo.  That boy sure knows how to shake a girl's resolve.  I did pick up on some elements with which I must watch my step.  He seems to avoid people who wish to get into a relationship.   I don't know,  I don't want to start feeling like I have to watch my every move.   It doesn't seem like he would put me in that position, but sometimes what people say when they aren't thinking about it is truer than what they would have you believe.  I am not as oblivious as some people think, nor am I as naive.

Today was day 2 of my 10 day weekend.  It was a pretty good day.  I started out with my little Kat had spent the night.  We went to Walmart and got her a summer dress and sandals.  I also got myself another very comfortable summer dress that isn't quite as low cut.  Katelin kept declaring how beautiful everything was. 

Then I went to get Alexis and her and I went back to Walmart where I got her a summer dress and sandals (not flip flops)  I was a little hesitant to get Lexy the shoes she wanted because they were 3 inch wedges.  Both girls surprised me with their foot sizes.  Katelin (at 7 years old) is now wearing a size 3 in women's and 11 year old Alexis is wearing a size 6.  Both girls seem on track to have bigger feet than I do and I wear a size 12 wide in women's.

Tomorrow is when I am going to visit Vas.  Last I heard from Shawn is that he is still coming with me.  I can't believe it.  I am hoping to hash everything out on the trip and hopefully bring the dynamic back to what it was originally.