I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. First I started wondering where my true self was. Then I came to realize that I am not afraid to be myself around my girls or my mom and brothers. Then i started to think deeper. Why
was I afraid to be myself with guys? The first blame I laid was at Angel's feet. I was afraid to express when I was sad or distressed because Angel said he would leave if he distressed me because he didn't distress women. Then I thought further
about it, I also realized that I wasn't alound to express frustration or anger around Angel either, whether it was with him or not with him. Then I began to realize that he was not the only one to lay blame on. Every time I expressed my opinion
to Leon he got angry and said I didn't listen to him. That his opinion didn't matter to me when my intention was to open up discussion for both sides.
Then as I thought even further on the issue I realized that there was only one
place the finger needed to be pointed, and that was straight at me. I should not allow any man to get under my skin and make me afraid to be me. I should be proud of me. I am caring, compassionate, I have intuition about different situations.
I have an ugly side as well, but those negative feeling also give me strength. My ego is my confidence, my anger is my determination, my sadness is my empathy. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and be proud to show my true self. Any
man would be priviledged to be with me.