I accepted an invitation to a wiccan event next saturday. Do I currently consider myself wiccan? No. Do I respect their beliefs? Absolutely. In fact it is their code of conduct that I adopt wholeheartedly even though I feel I
am agnostic: Harm none do as you will.
Let me tell you how I got to this point in my religious development. When I was just a lil girl of about 4 my mom joined an ultra conservative church called the Worldwide Church of God. They take
Jewish holidays, and several of the Jewish practices (including dietary) and adopts the bible and embraces the belief in Christ and God. My step dad took the fact that he was head of the household and his right to punish children just a slight bit too
far. (Imagine slapping a kindergartener so hard across the face that they fly across the room.) He did this in the name of a good strict christian upbringing, and my mom felt she couldn't do anything because she was supposed to obey her husband.
When I was 12 thankfully he divorced my mom. When I was growing into a teenager and starting to understand the world around me, I realized how bigotous that church was. They felt that no one who was not in that church was worth hanging around with.
Then when I turned 16 I commited the unpardonable sin. I started dating a guy. He wasn't a rebel, he wasn't a druggy, he wasn't every father's nightmare, he was a nice well-mannered christian boy. In fact we weren't doing much more
than spending time together and the occasional kiss. I was a horrible rebelious teenager who needed to learn a lesson. So my mom sent me to live with my Aunt for the summer, she even talked about starting my next school year up there. With
my Aunt she found every way possible to humiliate me and make sure I knew I was rebellious and awful. This in the name of christianity and morals. Finally my mom brought me home.
When I moved away to go to college, I was pretty
jaded about religion. My favorite saying was I don't know if God exists and frankly I don't care. I just want to be the best person I can be. After a couple of years I met this wonderful woman named Renee who introduced me to Wicca.
I jumped in with both feet. Here was a religion who put into words the moral code I had always held: Harm none do as you will. It also presented not only a god but a whole pantheon of gods and godesses that were all about peace and love and
nature. I was delighted. She wouldn't teach me much, so after a few events took place I met my darling Simi. She taught me more of the Wiccan ways. I was a very deep Wiccan. I wanted to feel and portray the full love of the maiden
mother and crone.
Then I got married. My first husband is not much consequence to my spiritual path. My second one however was. He was a non-practicing Catholic. I was a little hesitant to date a christian, but he seemed understanding
and supportive of my beliefs, so I fell for him. During the relationship, it went from understanding and supportive, to fighting tooth and nail to keep my lil girls from being totally submersed in Catholicism and failing. On top of that, I fell
out of practice from Wicca because that supportive turned into: Wicca isn't really a religion is it. The whole rub is after 11 years of staying faithfully by his side, he decides to become a hypocrate. One of the reasons he is divorcing me is because
he wants to become more religious and wants someone to go to church with (Catholic) So he leaves me and shacks up with my best friend. To me he isn't even following his beliefs.
So now I am an agnostic. I no longer hear the
song of the Lord and the Lady. I definately do not hear the calling of the christian God. I embrace the code of ethics: Harm none do as you will.
Almost every major sore point in my life was done in the name of christianity
or had a strong christian influence. Understand that I do not hate christians. I realize that there are good and bad in every group of people. I hate and despise christianity....and there are not very many things that I hate or even dislike,
except things that harm people. So if there are any misguided christians that feel they can save my soul....you can turn around and never try.
I will happily attend the Wiccan event, and hopefully they will be people who embrace the wiccan code
as strongly as I do.